Children are still vulnerable to family violence even after separation from abusive situations
Kansas has received a $400,000 grant from the U. S. Department of Justice, Office on Violence Against Women. via KAKE-TV Wichita
Source for Post: Kansas - Topix.net.
Divorce and Family Law in Tarrant County had a great post today concerning a win-win custody battle strategy which I think all PARENTS should consider. While it is not something new or really all that different, my fellow blogger actually puts it in writing for all to consider. Below is the meat of his post and I would strongly suggest all of those involved in a custody battle consider it.
Instead of limiting yourself to only two options, winning it all or losing, there is another, more productive way to approach the custody issue. The approach may require more maturity than some parties can muster, but, for those able to shift gears, think rationally and be patient, the following approach can be rewarding for them and their children. These steps can lead to a better solution for all, especially the children.
1. Think about, discuss and decide what your ultimate goals are for the kids. What outcomes would you like to see? Many people would want some of the following (or similar) goals:
The kids having a great relationship with both parents
The kids having a great relationship with their extended families
Financial security for the children
Having a safe, secure home for the children
Having good schools for the kids
Providing for a college education for the children
Providing sports opportunities for the children
The opportunity for the kids to learn music, art or other interests
Each parent can decide what he or she thinks would be important goals for their children. Broader, underlying goals are more helpful and meaningful. If both parents think of goals in broad terms, they often can agree on them.
2. Look at the big picture. What are the resources to work with:
Financial abilities of the parents
Parental/family member time available
What homes and schools are available and affordable
What the parents’ neighborhoods are like
The existing relationships between parents and children and the roles each parent plays with the children
What community resources are available
What special needs, if any, a child has
What interests the child has
3. Brainstorm options. Think up as many different solutions as you can. Sometimes it is helpful to get help from a parenting expert. Spend some time and try to be non-traditional or unconventional. Don’t limit yourself to ‘standard’ solutions. Open up your thoughts to come up with some crazy ideas because they might just turn into good ideas.
4. Evaluate your options. See if they can help achieve your identified goals. Criticizing and testing your options can lead to the discovery of other ideas and can help you narrow down the choices until you are left with an idea or ideas that work.
Implementation: This process can helpful if just you do it, but it is really better if you can do it with the other parent. Collaborative Law is one way to accomplish that. This is actually a very common approach to problem-solving in Collaborative Law. Even in traditional litigation, you can use this system alone or together with the other parent. If you work on this alone, you can create a better plan to present in court or in negotiations. If both parents work together through this process, there’s an excellent chance they will reach an agreement that will be satisfactory to both parents and to the children.
Please give this a try and let me know how it works for you!
Source for Post: Divorce and Family Law in Tarrant County.
How can one parent stop the other parent from taking a child to visit a dangerous country?
How can a parent make sure that a child will be returned if the other parent takes the child to visit his or her native country?
Many international parents are justifiably becoming increasingly concerned about the answers to these questions.
New York attorney Jeremy D. Morley, of the International Family Law Blog, has just written an article - published in the July 2007 issue of The Matrimonial Strategist and now also available on his website - describing 'Ten Key Tips for Parents' that he has developed as a result of handling these issues for parents around the world.
You can read it here or below.
SOURCE: International Family Law Blog
How can one parent stop the other parent from taking a child to visit a dangerous country? How can a parent make sure that a child will be returned if the other parent takes the child to visit his or her native country? Many international parents are becoming increasingly concerned about the answers to these questions.
Here are Ten Key Tips for Parents that have been developed as a result of handling these issues on a regular basis in collaboration with local family lawyers across the country.
1. Collect hard evidence of the dangers that the proposed visitation presents.
Any parent who opposes overseas visitation, especially to a parent’s country of origin or current domicile, has a heavy burden of proof. Do not underestimate what you need to do to prove your case. You must go to court with very strong evidence already lined up. You have to be fully prepared to show that there is a very real risk — not simply a suspicion or a fear — that your child will not be returned.
2. Collect evidence to show the court that there is a real likelihood that the other parent will not return the child.
So-called ‘red flags’ include the other parent having:
3. Demonstrate respect for the rights of the other parent.
While the language of state laws varies — some referring only to the best interests of the child with others including a presumption of joint parenting — American courts invariably encourage and impose shared parenting in one form or another. A parent who inappropriately hinders or obstructs the other parent’s involvement in the child’s life will not be viewed favorably.
4. Do not rely on a country’s poor reputation for corruption or danger.
Do not take it for granted that a court will know that a particular country has an ineffective legal system or that the country is a dangerous place for Westerners. You must present evidence to the court — whether through witnesses or through documents — that will allow the court to make a reasoned conclusion based on real and convincing evidence that the requested visitation should be denied.
5. Be calm, not hysterical.
You may be panic-stricken at the thought of your precious one being taken to another country, but you should not come across as over-the-top. You should be prepared to explain calmly to the court the reasons for your grave concern.
6. You will usually need expert testimony.
Parents who know personally just how dangerous a certain country is often believe that they should simply tell the court their stories about the bad things that have happened to people there. This type of evidence is usually worthless and probably inadmissible. You will typically need to retain well-qualified independent experts who can testify as to their personal knowledge of the issues. Some examples:
7. Do not take comfort in the mere fact that the child is being taken to a country that is a party to the Hague Convention.
The Convention is a strong international treaty, but countries vary dramatically in their enforcement of it. Countries such as the UK, Australia and New Zealand typically return children promptly and efficiently, but some act much more slowly (Germany and France, for example) and others act at a glacial pace or not at all (e.g., Mexico, Colombia and Austria).
8. Review with your lawyer whether any conditions can be imposed that will ensure that your child will be returned.
The possibility of using conditions is very much a double-edged sword. Many conditions sound good, but they are worth little or nothing in practice. In fact, they can be dangerous because judges may think that by imposing conditions, they have provided real safeguards when, in fact, they have merely facilitated international child kidnapping. Some typical restrictions:
9. Do not rely on the other parent’s promises.
They are basically worthless if he or she keeps the child overseas. (However, if one parent puts a promise to return in writing, it may be of some value in future litigation).
10. Do not leave it to the last minute to seek legal protection.
While the courts can usually make emergency orders, it is far better to prepare and submit a case well in advance of the scheduled departure date. In addition, a judge will be less likely to prevent a trip overseas that has been scheduled for a long time.
Source for Post: Georgia Family Law Blog.
Not only avoid mistakes, but make sure your plan is as complete as possible. Cover all the basis. Most important in this process is to try to work together in preparing the parenting plan. Both parents will be much more pleased with the plan if they work on this together and not hand over this important process to the judge. The judge will be happy to decide these important issues for you. But, I am almost 100% certain, if you let the judge decide you will not be happy.
Thanks to the Oklahoma Family Law Blog for a heads up on this great information.
Many divorced couples find themselves back in court for post-decree litigation simply because of poorly drafted parenting plans. Listed below are some of the most common mistakes and oversights related to parenting plans.
Dick Price at Divorce and Family Law in Tarrant County had this great post. He points out some key points that most divorcing parents forget. First of all, you are parents. And for the best interest of the children, these five points must be considered. While emotions are high for the divorcing parents. Don’t forget that the children also are going through the divorce and as parents, everything must be done to help them through it. And, lets not forget that until the children reach at least the age of 18, you and your ex-spouse will have to work together to raise the children to adulthood.
The following is a brief list of 5 'Don’ts' and a 'Do' that may help avoid such situations.
1. Don’t ask the children to decide. In the heat of family disagreements, it may seem simple or fair to just let the children decide where they want to live, or what visitation schedule they want to follow, etc.; parents may feel that’s like having a neutral person make the decision. Unfortunately, that puts a lot of pressure on the children and sets them up for guilt feelings and/or angry parents.
2. Don’t disparage the other parent or his/her family. This can be by direct comments made to a child or it can be done indirectly, such as comments made to others, but overheard by a child. It can also include body language and gestures that indicate disapproval or other bad opinions of the other parent. A child will likely take such actions or words as an attack on him or her.
3. Don’t argue around the kids. Disagreements are normal, even in well-functioning, intact families. Discussions and arguments between adults should take place just between adults, if at all possible. The kids don’t need to be drawn in or manipulated by the situations.
4. Don’t ask the children about the other parent. It’s not necessary for you to know everything that goes on when your children are with the other parent. Children will often tell about things they enjoyed or about big events, good or bad. Children don’t like being grilled about what happens when they visit their other parent.
5. Don’t use the children as messengers. If you want to send a message to the other parent, talk directly by phone or in person, send a letter or send an email. Kids aren’t always dependable anyway. And if you send a message by the children and then the other parent reacts badly when the message is delivered, the children are likely going to feel that they caused the problem.
Finally, something you can Do:
Do take a co-parenting class, preferably with the other parent. There are several good classes available in this area in person and even on line. I recommend the 'in-person' class because you can learn more and get specific questions answered.
If you can avoid the temptation to put your children in the middle of adult disputes, your children will be happier and you should have better relationships with them (and maybe the other parent as well). If both parents will take a co-parenting class, all of this advice may be unnecessary!"
Source for Post: Divorce and Family Law in Tarrant County.
One of the biggest problems divorce parents have, has to be communication and knowing what is going on in their child’s life. And, every once in a while, I come across a tool that seems to help with that problem. JointParents.com is such a tool.
One parent made the following comment, "Using this site helps me stay organized. I now have one place for my child's events, ex's expenses, and all kinds of other important information."
The tools available on this site help with co-parenting, child scheduling, expense tracking, virtual visitation, discussions and sharing photos. Check it out and if there are any of you using it, please post your comments here.
The Uniform Child Abduction Prevention Act – which includes some specific provisions designed to prevent international child abduction – was signed into law in Kansas on April 6, 2007. Kansas is the fourth state to enact it, along with Nevada, Nebraska and South Dakota. Bills to adopt the new law have been introduced in at least five other legislatures -- Colorado, Connecticut, Kansas, South Carolina, Utah, and the U.S. Virgin Islands.
I realize this is an Oklahoma legal issue that just recently came up. However, with more and more parents home schooling, it will only be a matter of time before it reaches Kansas. Thanks to the Oklahoma Family Law Blog for the heads up on this issue.
In making custody decisions, Oklahoma law prohibits a judge from giving a preference or a presumption for or against home schooling, private schooling, or public schooling.' 'See 43 O.S. 112 (C)(4).
The home-schooling issue was addressed in the case of Stephen v. Stephen. There, the parties were granted an uncontested divorce with the mother being awarded custody of their two boys. Several years later, mom quit her job to educate the boys at home. In response, dad filed a motion to modify custody alleging that mom was not qualified to teach the children, and that a home-school education was not in their best interests.
During a five-day hearing, the evidence showed that the children responded well to home schooling, they tested well in the Iowa test, and the mother was an excellent and insightful teacher. However, the trial transcript clearly shows that the judge was openly biased against home schooling. In fact, while stating' that the children were probably better off with mom, the judge held that mom was not qualified to educate her children at home. The trial court went on to find that mom's home schooling was a substantial change of circumstances adversely affecting the best interests of the children. Unbelievably, the judge ruled that unless mom placed the children in public school, custody would be awarded to dad.
Can you say 'abuse of discretion?' The Oklahoma Supreme Court said exactly that when it found that the trial judge's bias against home schooling caused the judge to rule in a manner clearly against the weight of the evidence.
The appellate court noted the substantial evidence regarding dad's drinking problem, that dad had to be taken to court once to collect past due child support, that dad did not regularly visit the boys until after he filed his motion to change custody, that dad did not keep his appointments when he did promise to visit them, and that when he had them at his home for visitation he left them alone during the day and checked on them by phone. In contrast, mom who had had custody of the boys for eight years, gave up a $50,000 a year job to stay home to give the boys a better education and more behavioral supervision than she believed that they were receiving in the public school system.
Thank God for courts of appeal. At least on this occasion, a wrong was righted and justice prevailed.
Source for Post: Oklahoma Family Law Blog.
I often get this question; "what visitation will I get if I don't have custody of my children?" Or another one; "what is the standard visitation I should get with my children?"
Child custody and parenting time are the two most emotional issues divorcing parents face. And in my opinion, the most important. Ideally, the divorcing parents should strive to work these issues out between them for the best interest of their children. However, that often does not happen. Usually the reason it does not happen is because of the emotions involved.
So to answer the question, let me first say, there is not a standard answer. For some judges, a standard is every other weekend from Friday at 5:00 p.m. to Sunday at 5:00 p.m. And one to two overnight visits during the off week. Alternate holidays and an extended time during the summer.
Other courts utilize the family law guidelines provided by either Johnson County or Shawnee County.
While neither family law guidelines should be considered the be all to end all answer. They are just what they are called, guidelines. Keep in mind that the best place to determine what the custody and parenting time arrangements should be rest with the parents. If you allow the judge to determine what parenting time you both will have, chances are you will not like it.
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Divorce in Kansas, Johnson County Family Law Guidelines, Shawnee County Family Law Guidelines
